Witty Ideas to keep the pester visitors at bay!

Updated on September 15, 2015

Of late we all have been heading to Lifehacker for the smartest ways to spruce and tidy our homes to smart investment ideas. She (only a female can have all the smart answers) has been a savior for many. In a recent post, she taught us how to ward off them unwanted guests. I was inspired and then perspired constructing additional ideas to keep them at bay (I don’t think an unwillingness to share your Wi-Fi password with them would do you any good).

So seek the help of an ideal mind for ideas which would keep them away for more than a while.

1. Din for the dim

Guests are guests for a reason. They come visiting to rest which means, early-morning-sleep-destructing-aides wouldn’t make them feel blessed. Kick start your day at 4, let the usual morning sound get into action full blown!

Still asleep? Turn up that radio and sing at the top of your lungs (if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket, then count yourself lucky).

Wake them up
Make a merry sound

2. Badass culinary skills

Temporarily kiss goodbye to your skills which belong at Le Cordon Bleu and serve hazard for each meal. How about burnt eggs, sloppy bread, meat which can beat a chewing gum…..you can always claim to like your bread homemade and knead the dough (in their presence) with your errr…. ..FEET.

Charred delight
Burnt delicacy

3. Sick lick

Pretend to cough and hack every time at their sight. Liberally use words like Adamantane, Bastardane, Buckminster Fullerne, Kinoshitalite and the like in your conversation. Consistently talk about maladies.

An excerpt from ward-a-guest-conversation-

My friend was detected with swine flu last year. His family did not quite pay attention to that, now his father has tuberculosis and neighbor has contracted leptospirosis…..life can be harsh!

How to shoo a guest?
A treat for the healthy?

4. Violent Toilet

Did you just go eewww just by imagining an Indian public toilet….rest assured; your guests are already on their next train back home!

How to shoo a guest?
Toilet scare

5. Sweat shower

Turn off the power, disconnect your inverter and curse the government for being unfair. Sweating like a pig would probably help them shed some brain fat which would make them pave a path back home.

How to shoo a guest?
Sweating like a pig

It would take fierce determination and dedication to chase away the uninvited or the invited who’ve overstayed their invitation. If you have neither of the two, then you, my friend, have hospitality lodged in the deepest recesses of your body and soul.

Drop in your address, I’d love to be your guest who wouldn’t go!

GIF courtesy: MakeAGIF.com

Image courtesy:varied sources

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