When Silicon Valley is Bogged Down with Evils, Witch Joey Talley comes to the Rescue!
- Monday, July 20, 2015 By Rebecca Nanda
We all are bound by limitations and therefore, words like evolution and discovery trail half-baked cakes like us everywhere. We haven’t found it all and maybe, (I am dead sure of that) we would never ever find it all (as Christine Perry has signed, stamped and delivered this fact by singing ‘I’m only human!’). That said, that hasn’t put a damper on our enthusiasm of discovering something new. And days when discovering becomes blasé, we resort to insanity.
Don’t trust me? Okay, picture this….one of your beloved device freezes..not a twitch nor a switch comes to your rescue..what do you do? Troubleshoot? Not gonna happen. Flex your IT brains, do all that you want and can do but the thing would not blink an eye at you. I have a solution for you, borrow a leaf from the books of the ‘Silicon Valley’ and call a…..WITCH! When natural fails you, rely on the unnatural.
You’ve got to be kidding me. I wish I were, but as they say seeing is believing (see below) and reading is trusting (read this).
Reverend Joey Talley, a Wiccan witch is called upon when the best of IT minds in the Silicon Valley fail to solve the most complex of issues. In fact, the sight of a witch in the San Francisco Bay Area is considered to be as normal as sighting a celeb in Hollywood. According to this IT Solomon, a untraceable bug is a sign of an “evil spirit” ridden device. She claims she can ward off the (pray that it is only one) evil spirit from your device by way of charging $200 per hour for her device saving services. She has fixed an errant alarm for a startup company, has smacked viruses out of hacked and malicious virus ridden systems….by chanting bwbgbkdabdkabdkadkahkahdf (whatever the white skinned witches say). Well, I am making that up…not the part where witchcraft and technology intersect but the part where I say she is harsh with spirits. She romances the spirit and woos them out by using flora. She swears by her “Jet” which is a stone with energy altering waves. If nothing works, she ‘cleanses’ the entire office, how crazy is that?
I can see our country raking in the moolah by way of becoming the number one witchcraft outsourcing destination. For the analytical minds in the country, Talley additionally boasts of three master’s degrees with over 40 years of technical experience. So, being a witch is just a pretense? I dunno. Got a device which wouldn’t budge? Call her up (and rob a bank before you do that)!